My “No Green Thumb” Poem

I’m posting this poem at the request of several Facebook friends, who were curious about a reference to my former status as a non-gardener (and, I should admit, a lousy housekeeper).  In my son’s early years on our small farm in Texas, we had the “go-to” house, since I wasn’t fussy about boys vaulting over my living room couches, sleeping all over the den or raiding the refrigerator day and night. I just made sure to stock the pantry with good food, or so I thought, and always had plenty of Pillsbury pull-apart-and-bake cinnamon rolls.

On one occasion, my younger son’s pal decided to make something truly healthy for the gang and dove into the lettuce/veggie drawer. When it came time for the salad dressing, he was horrified to find that most of my bottles, half-empty and crusty around the tops, were grossly outdated. After that, he vowed never to eat at my house again. Oh well, I got a poem out of it:

I AIN’T NO BETTY CROCKER
(OR) I AIN’T NO MARTHA STEWART

The Smith and Hawkins Company
Has sent two “Lily Kits” to me.

I’m double-dared to force “Lily,”
Against all odds of Botany.

Just look in my fridge and you’ll agree,
Green mold’s my green thumb’s specialty.

The mildewed cheese and mysteries
Are well-known to my sons who tease

That immunizations are just a breeze–
They’ve survived Expiration-Date Disease!

                                          NKC

 

 

 

About Nancy K. Carpenter

After 25 years in Texas, I've returned to Upstate New York to start a new life. In this journey, I've had to turn to my pen to make a living, as both a writer and teacher, and race to catch up with the changes in technology that passed me by while I was raising my sons, riding horses, and raising hay on a farm outside Dallas. A writer, poet, teacher, and tutor, I have had to give up "fighting Gutenberg," as I used to say, and come to terms with the internet-- Macs, PCs, eBooks, iPads, and the world of cyberspace. These are my musings about life and the road that led me to this blog--my latest attempt to join the 21st Century.
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